I had a conversation with Yoel on the train on Halloween and it really made me start thinking about why I do certain things. Like, I am who I am, but why?
I always wonder why I like making friends so much, but hate sustaining them. Or why I cannot stand talking on the phone with anyone but Somala. Unless my conversation has purpose, I just can’t keep talking; it makes me cringe.
Or why I’m so destructive in random spurts. Or why I always seek to please and impress people so much. Why I always feel comfortable with my book-bag on my back. Why I’m quiet around my mom, but so talkative around other people’s parents.
Or why I attract to people who are overwhelmingly rational and responsible. Or why I try to act as reckless as possible whenever I can. Or why I try to push everything to limits every chance I get.
Or why I find the need to investigate these thoughts.